Jeff | Sobriety

I grew up in an alcoholic home where heavy drinking was very normal - being dragged to bars and beer joints was our way of life. 

I remember my parents would work and drink… and as they drank more and more, the work became less and less important. We lived in the country in an old broken-down trailer house with no air conditioner and it was clear to me early on that all families didn't live like us. 

I was very embarrassed and very ashamed and I never wanted any of my friends to see me like this.

As much as I hated the alcohol and the drinking, I discovered they would numb my pain. At least for a short time, I would have some freedom. I wanted things to be different but I was trapped in this hopeless cycle of isolation and numbing the pain. 

In the spring of my senior year, I met this wonderful girl and she saw life differently. She was going to college and encouraged me to do the same. She helped change my life.

We fell in love and, 2 years later, we got married. We finished school and started a family and then she tricked me to go to church. It wasn't too long after that that I accepted God's offer to be my father. 

Now everything seemed complete - my life was great, my career had taken off, we bought our first house, and we were busy with our three boys… We stayed involved serving in that little church where I would become a deacon.

As time passed, my job became more demanding and it led me out of town to travel more often. For years, alcohol had no longer been part of my life. I thought that was well behind me.

However, all this traveling and work was beginning to take its toll on me. I gradually started to drink again. At first, I told myself it was just to make my clients feel more comfortable at dinner meetings. Before I knew it I created this entire business away from home so I could drink freely. One morning, I realized I had become exactly what I was trying to escape all those years. The bondage of alcohol was still running my life. 

All I ever wanted was for my 3 boys to have a different - a better life - and I desperately wanted to break the cycle that has been handed down through our family generations. 

I knew I had no other choice. I had to get real and honest with myself and then my wife.

I checked myself into an alcohol treatment program and it was here I learned that alcoholism is a disease. It is cunning and very, very powerful. It's also the only disease that convinces you that you don't have it. I know now that my body doesn't react normally to alcohol and it was there that I completely surrendered my will and life to God.

I found people from all walks of life - every income, every education level - and they're all struggling just like me. I was not alone in this recovery journey. It is inside these groups that, for the very first time, I felt comfortable in my own skin with no judgment.

I learned tools that come right out of scripture that I use to this day to deal with life as it comes without needing drugs or alcohol.

Recovery support groups are everywhere around the world. In 2019, we had the opportunity to go to Israel with a group of friends and I realized I'd be there on my 20 years sobriety anniversary. 

I reached out to a local group in Jerusalem and they arranged for us to attend a meeting at their group and they gave me a twenty years sobriety chip. They were there to support me even though we've never met - that's the way these programs work. These are the kind of people that become your family. 

We can be real and honest and share our experiences, strength and hope with each other.

Next month, my wife and I will celebrate our 35th wedding anniversary. And in October, Lord willing, I'll celebrate 23 years of sobriety 

I have a great and honest relationship with all three of my sons - they’re all hard-working young men with college degrees. Years before my dad passed away, he stopped drinking and we were able to reconcile. I'm very grateful that I got to know him. I get asked occasionally why I continue to go to meetings after so many years of sobriety and the answer is simple: I never want to forget where I came from. I want to be there for the new people when they come in just like someone was there for me. 

Giving back is an important part of my recovery. I serve as a leader at Celebrate Recovery here at Crosspoint on Monday nights. 

My truth is this: because of God's power I'm no longer slave to alcohol.

My life is better now than I ever thought possible. If you're struggling in any way, please know this: You are not alone and there is always hope.