Amy | Redemption

I was raised in a Christian home and came to know Christ at an early age, but as a teen I entered what I refer to as my prodigal years. I experimented with drinking and as a result of my compromised state, ended up sleeping with my then-boyfriend. That started a downward spiral in my life of self-condemnation, secrets, shame and poor choices.

Over the next six years, I lived a double life - trying to maintain a facade in front of those who knew me as a good Christian girl and partying, drinking, and clinging to co-dependent relationships at school and in college. As a result of my poor choices and complete lack of self-worth, I experienced several crisis pregnancies and subsequently chose to have abortions to hide my mistakes and avoid hurting my family.

By that point, my heart was so hardened, I was so ashamed and insecure, and I would rarely open up to anyone for fear they would see me for what I was and hate me. Then, out of all things, God used a musical that my family was involved in to break through the walls I had placed around my heart and show me a way out of the pit I had stumbled into. A song called "Make Me Again" expressed everything I felt - the shame at my choices, the damage I couldn't undo, and how broken I was. And as the character in the show asked God to make him again, I broke down and sobbed, wanting God to make me again, too.

From that point forward, it was a matter of asking and allowing God to change all the hardened places in my heart, accept His love, and learn that He forgave me and He could help me forgive myself. He allowed me to use my story to help others who had experienced abortion or who were experiencing crisis pregnancy themselves. And over time, He gave me the strength to share my secrets without the shame I had felt previously, giving Him all the glory for my healing.

God is my center - I seek Him first and look for His direction in my life, weighing decisions according to His Word and the Holy Spirit's leading. I am joy-filled! I laugh easily and love abundantly the family God has blessed me with. I am compassionate - He who has been forgiven much loves much.

And while I am FAR from perfect, I can be honest about who I am, my past, and what God has done in my life to take me out of the darkness and into HIS wonderful light!